It's Hard To Say Goodbye
by My Whole Life Is Thunder
Summary: Tony collapses at a crime scene now team must be prepared to say goodbye. Warning character death.
1. Chapter 1

**Don't own it.**

Ch. 1

Tony had been feeling terrible all week he had been running a fever and having coughing fits now he was feeling dizzy. Of course they had been working a case and the today the day he felt worst they got a new one and it was a marine wife and daughter so Gibbs was extra angry oh and guess what Ziva drove. He could barely stsy awake in the van or keep himself from vomiting it was pure hell. Tim was off looking for evidence while Ziva questioned a witness. Suddenly Tony felt his legs give out from under him. McGee was the first to see Tony. "Uh Boss?" he said nervously. "What is it Mc... Dammit!" Gibbs cried running over when saw Tony lying on the ground. Ziva raced over behind Gibbs. "Don't crowd him!" Gibbs cried "McGee call 911!, Ziver go wait for Ducky! I'll stay here with him.


	2. Chapter 2

Gibbs rode in the ambulance to Bethsada with Tony, Ziva drove McGee and Jimmy while Ducky drove back to the Navy Yard to get Abby. Ziva actually beat the ambulance she ran in followed by McGee in the back was Palmer who was shuffling slowly looking very nervous. "Hey Jimmy you OK?" McGee asked in a concerned voice. "Yeah just worried about Tony" Jimmy replied just as the ambulance pulled in. Twenty miniutes later Abby ran in followed by Ducky. "Gibbs what's wrong is he gonna be OK? Of course he is he's Tony but, what if he isn't? Oh he can't die! What if he dies?" Abby cried. "Abigail slow down your in a hospital dear girl." Ducky cried. "We still haven't heard anything Abbs" Gibbs said. Just then Dr. Pitt came out followed by two other doctors. "Jethro I'm sorry to say that Tony has developed pnemonia." Dr. Pitt said "This is Dr. Jones he is the doctor assigned to Tony's case and this Dr. Reegan Tony's um ocologist." "WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEAN OCOLOGIST?" Gibbs yelled. "Tony has leukimia" Dr. Keegan calmly explained. "Dammit!" Gibbd yelled throwing his coffee down. "Oh Dear" Ducky muttered. "No" Abby cried falling into McGees arms. McGee just gasped as he caught Abby. "Leukimia is very treatabe yes?" Ziva asked "Well it is unfortunatly with Tony developing pnemonia and haveing damaged lungs and a susptable system it's hard to tell. As of now it doesn't look good. I'm sorry." Dr. Keegan said. Palmer just stood back looking nervous. "Jimmy is your wrist feeling better?" Dr. Keegan asked. All eyes were on Palmer who felt about two feet tall. "What the hell Jimmy?" Gibbs barked "Mr. Palmer?" Ducky asked. "Please tell me you aren't sick too." Abby said crying in McGee's arms. "No nothing like that Jimny just hurt his wrist helping Tony out of the car before his last chemo sesion Monday it was still bothering him yesterday so I was checking." Dr. Keegan explained. "How long have you known? Hell how long has DiNozzo known?" Gibbs demanded. "Yes I...I took some asprin and feel better and Gibbs he told me when he was diagnossed last month." Palmer said. "You mean you've known for a month and said nothing! Dammit you know how stubborn DiNozzo is what you were waiting for him to tell us! Why so he would stay your friend great friend now Tony's dying and it's all your fault!" Gibbs yelled instantly regreting his words he never thought when he was hurting it had almost gotten him killed after losing Shannon and Kelly and now he had hurt Palmer cause Tony was sick and he couldn't handle even the thought of him dying. "I...I" Palmer stammered before running out of the hospital. Gibbs collapsed into the nearest chair, burried his head in his hands and started to cry.

**A\N Ok there's chapter 2 sorry for the delay I had no inspiration which considering the nature if this story is a good the also I had to help my parents clean and move furniature. Hope this is good.**


	3. Chapter 3

Gibbs and Ducky were driving back to N.C.I.S in Ducky's car. Gibbs had upset Abby with his outburst at Bethsada so she was riding home with Ziva and McGee, Palmer had run off. "Jethro we need to talk about what happened at Bethsada and you are going to have to apologize to Mr. Palmer" "I will I promise." Gibbs said. Nobody spoke for a few miniutes. "He's a real jerk sometimes" Gibbs said breaking the silence. "Who Jethro?" Ducky asked. "God" Gibbs replied "I mean does he really hate me that much?" "Were my mom, Shannon and Kelly, Kate, and Jenny not enough now Tony?" "Who's next you? my dad? Jimmy? McGee? Ziva? Abby?" "Jethro God doesn't hate you I don't know why he tests you like this and Tony isn't dead there could still be a maricle and don't talk like that around Abigail she's hurting enough right now" Ducky said. "Whatever" Gibbs scoffed like a rebelious teenager before curling up into a ball against the door. As Ducky turned silently into the navy yard.

McGee drove the N.C.I.S van with Abby next to him up front and Ziva behind him in the backseat. "Why is he dying Timmy?" Abby asked. "I don't know Abby." McGee said. "You two are federal agents you should be used to people dying I mean you are to old for the happy sunshine, rainbows and unicorns world! People you love die everyday in my world try living like that you almost forget how than you are reminded and let your gaurd down and love again and that person dies too why do I even both..." Ziva said trailing off in the end. "Ziva are you OK?" McGee asked. "Tony is dying I will never be OK again!" Ziva yelled. She propped her elbow on the door and starred out the window at the rain that had begun to fall. "Ever since he got the plague I've known and accepted that Tony will die before me I just didn't think it would be so soon." McGee said. "Poor Tony I mean I guess knowing your gonna die would be nice so you can say goodbye and make peace but, knowing it will all be over soon and just waiting for the end would have to be hard and scary even if you have faith." Abby said. "I just want to know why he didn't tell us" McGee thought as they pulled into the navy yard.

Jimmy Palmer ran down the stairs to the mourge. He climbed onto one of the autopsy tables and started to cry. "It's not fair" he thought. Bad enough his best friend was probally dying but, now Gibbs had attacked him. Gibbs was a mystery to Jimmy one miniute he was a nice guy who volunteered with Toy's for Tot's every Christmas he was also an angry man, who yelled and headslapped people. Jimmy lay on the cool table he was lost in his thoughts when all of the sudden he heard someone yell his name "Jimmy!" he looked up and saw Vance standing over him "Maybe you can explain to me what the hell is going on?" He barked. "Well...I...uh" Jimmy stammered. Just then Gibbs, Ducky, McGee, Ziva, and Abby walked in silently. "Oh there you are maybe one of you can explain to me why the hell I got a call you guys abandoned the crime scene that you and why our forensic scientist and ME were no where to be found and why I come down here and find our assitant ME is lying on an autopsy table blithering like an idiot!" Vance yelled. "Leon Anthony collapsed and at Bethsada they told us he was diagnosed with leukimia last month" Ducky explained. The tooth pick fell from Vances mouth. "What's wrong with Jimmy is he taking it that hard." "Gibbs went off on me at the hospital cause I didn't tell him Tony was sick" Jimmy explained. "Why did you know?" Vance asked "He told me but, made me promise to keep it between us." Jimny said. "OK I understand" Vance said "As for you Jethro you are off for the next week if you even as much as call N.C.I.S and it's not to report a dead marine or dier emergency you are fired. Got that?" Gibbs nods. " Good now apologize to Jimmy than get out" Vance said. "I'm sorry Jimmy I shouldn't have said those things to you I know you were just respecting Tony's wishes it couldn't have been easy." Gibbs said before walking away.

Gibbs sat in his car outside of Bethsada afraid he'd go in and hear the worst and thinking about his week off he knew there was noway in hell Vance would let up. He knew that he needed to call some people and let them know Tony was sick. First he called DiNozzo Seinor he got a machine so he left a message _"Mr. DiNozzo this is agent Gibbs I am sorry to leave this as a message but, I am afraid Tony collapsed at a crime scene today he was rushed to Bethsada Naval Hospital and there we were told he has leukimia and pnemonia. I'm sorry but he is probally not going to make it so you really need to get down here asap. Again sorry to leave this as a message if you have any questions or just need to talk you can call me anytime at this number. Bye." _Next he called his own father thankfully he answered right away. "Dad Tony collapsed at a crime scene today." _"Well is he OK?" _"No he has pnemonia" _"Tony is tough I'm sure he will recover before you know it" _"It's not just that he has leukimia he's been sick for a month now at least they don't think he's going to make it. He can't die dad he can't!" _"I'm sorry Leroy call me if you need anything for you I could ve there in a hour." _"Thanks Goodbye" _"Bye". _

Gibbs hung up his phone, squeezed the steering wheel and starred into the night.


	4. Chapter 4

Tony stirred in the hospital bed as he woke up. Just great he had landed himself in the hospital. Now he had to tell he had gotten away with saying he had shaved his head on a drunken dare and made up excuses for his frequent absences. If he had just stayed home when he first felt bad he could have beat the cold and kept up the act. Now he was stuck.

"Why didn't you tell me?" He heard a gruff voice say. "Boss?" He whispered. "Yeah now why didn't you tell me?" Gibbs said. "I'm scared and I didn't want to upset you guys." Tony explained. "So you decide to go and get yourself pnemonia and pass out at a crime scene?" Gibbs asked "How long have you known hell how long did you put off seeing a doctor? If you weren't in the hospital I'd have half a mind to headslap you." "A couple of months ago I started to feel bad thinking it was just the flu everybody had I ignored it. I had a hard time shaking but, since I got sick it takes me longer to get over stuff I didn't think too much of it. Than I still felt bad a month later when I had my last check up with Dr. Pitt I told him my symptoms and he refered me to Dr. Keegan. I told Palmer cause I figured he could help me understand what's going on and keep it a secret, I knew Ducky would tell you." Tony explained. "Well now they don't think your going to make it and I can't" Gibbs said. "I can't" he turned his back and his shoulders rose and fell. Was Gibbs crying? He had made Gibbs cry now he felt sick to his stomache and hated himself.

"Are you OK?" Tony finally asked. "No I'm not you're dying and I'm suspended for yelling at Jimmy cause he didn't tell us you were sick!" Gibbs yelled now he was definatly crying. "Boss" Tony said resting his hand on Gibbs's shoulder. Gibbs just sat there and cried while Tony took everything in he was dying and his "family" was hurting.


	5. Chapter 5

It had been forty eight hours since Tony had been taken to Bethsada and only a little less since Gibbs had seen his team. Ducky had called and invited him to lunch at this Italian place Tony had wanted to go to it seemed like a good tribute. He had accepted greatfully just to get away from the hospital. "Tony if I get back from lunch and find out that you died I will be furious so hang on. You got that?" Gibbs said. As he looked down at Tony his breathing had become to labored they had put him on a ventilator the night before he couldn't talk because of it; Gibbs had been with him for five hours and he had been awake for maybe fifteen minutes Gibbs knew it was almost time. He hoped Tony could hold on til five when everybody was due to visit and say goodbye.

Gibbs pulled into the parking lot of the resteraunt where he was meeting his team. He saw Ducky and Palmer in Ducky's car and McGee, Abby, and Ziva in McGee's. "GIBBS!" Abby cried hugging him so hard she almost knocked him over. "Hey Abbs" He said. Gibbs looked at his team Abby her hair down and her eyes were red and puffy McGee said she cried herself to sleep the night before, McGee looked a lost his eyes which were usally bright and alert were dull and confused, Ducky looked at him with greif in his eyes, Palmer stood away from Gibbs he looked like he had aged about twenty years in the past forty eight hours, and Ziva Ziva was a shell of Ziva she looked like she hadn't changed her clothes or bathed in two days her hair was a mess her eyes were red and she was silent.

A few miniutes later they were seated around a table. "Are you guys on lunch break? Cause if you are I can take your food orders now? If your ready." The waitress said. Everybody ordered their food and drinks when it was Ziva's turn she just ordered a water "I'm not hungry" she said. "Ziva you haven't eaten in two days you really need to eat something" Ducky whispered. "Can I get an extra plate for my spaghetti?" Gibbs asked "I'll pay extra if needed." "Sure" The waitress said we typically add an extra dollar for extra plates." She said.

An hour later they had eaten and payed for their lunch. The team, Jimmy and Ducky, and Abby were headed back to N.C.I.S while Gibbs returned to the hospital. "Please still be alive when I get back Tony" he thought.

When Gibbs returned to Bethsada he was happy to see Tony was awake. "How is he?" Gibbs asked Doctor Jones. "I'm sorry it doesn't look like he'll live through the night." Dr. Jones explained. Gibbs felt like he had been punched in the stomach he tried to fight off tears. Dr. Jones offered a sympathetic look then walked off to check on another paitent.

At five thirty the team arrived to say goodbye. Vance went first "Anthony you were a good agent you were a lazy smart ass who drove me insane but, when it counted you always came through and you had such passion for your work and life I will never forget you". Abby went next "Oh Tony you were like a brother to me I hate that you had to suffer so much but soon you won't hurt anymore thanks for all the good times I will keep you in my heart forever. Goodbye" Tim was next "Tony I always wanted a big brother and you were that. You taught me everything I know about being an agent honestly if it weren't for you I'd have been fired or killed years ago. You helped me through the horrible times Kate dying, when I shot that cop, Sarah being accused of murder. Wait for me OK?" Ducky went next " Oh Anthony my dear boy I can't believe another friend is dying way to young. Your life was short but, beutiful. I hope you know how much you ment to Jethro to all of us. I will tell your story to every person who walks through NCIS. Goodby dear boy." Palmer went after Ducky. "Tony you were a really good friend I wish I could have known you longer. An outsider would have thought you were a bad friend to me but, I saw how much you cared for me. You taught me how to handle Gibbs. I'll look for you in heaven." Ziva was next "Tony I loved you I really did I don't think I'll fall in love again I don't even think I can live without you. You were just so Tony... She started to cry and bolted from the room. Gibbs went last after everybody had left. "DiNozzo you were like a son to me knowing you took the sting out of losing my family and I think you helped bring me and my dad together you were a great agent who I will never forget I wish I could take your place losing you is going to make my life so much sadder and emptier. Goodbye son. Tears streamed down his face the whole time he spoke.

Two hours later Gibbs sat alone in with Tony in his room the moon shining on across the room giving Tony an amgelic glow and shine to the tears on Gibbs's face. Suddenly a loud beep cut through the silence. Doctor Jones came in and turned off Tony's machines and that was it. Gibbs walked out of the hospital and called Ducky "Duck Tony died" he could hear the gasps and tears as Ducky told the news. Next he called Seinor finally he called Jackson.

Gibbs drove home and retreated to his basement poured a glass of burbon and whispered "To Tony" he he heard a voice say "I'll still have your six boss" break the silence and he cried for the millonth time in two days.


	6. Chapter 6

Jackson Gibbs looked at the clock in his store eight o'five a little less than an hour til closing. Suddenly he heard his phone ring he shuddered two days ago he had recieved a call from Jethro saying Tony had pnemonia and leukimia Jethro sounded like his world had crashed down. He looked at the screen sure enough it said "Jethro Gibbs" he prayed it was anything else. "I'm sorry I have to take this it's my son" He said to the customer he had been waiting on. She nodded and began writting her check. _"Dad?" _ "Yes what is it son?" _"Tony just died!" _"Oh My God I'm so sorry! Look I have to close up the store but, I will be there as soon as I can OK?" _"Ok bye" _"bye". "Is everything OK with Leroy?" The customer asked. "No one of his agents who he was very close to died of cancer it was kind of an unexpected loss and he is taking it very hard. It's right around the anniversry of Shannon and Kelly's deaths too. Jackson said. "I'm so sorry" She said. "Hey I'm closing early tonight can you flip the sign over?" He called after her. She turned the sign and walked out. Jackson got the store shut down and scribbled a note to customers _"Went to D.C. family emergency will be back in a few days. Sorry for the inconvience. Jackson Gibbs." _which he stuck on the door. Then he went behind the register and sat on the floor. He processed what had just happened he played the words over in his head _"Tony just died!"_. He felt for Jethro remembering how his eyes lit up when he talked about Tony or how he called him his son. Jackson adored Tony he saw so much of Jethro in him. His heart was breaking the way it did the day Kelly died he couldn't imagine how Jethro must feel. He put his head in his hands and cried when he regained his composure he drove home packed a bag and headed for D.C..

Jethro Gibbs took the backroads home from Bethsada the night was unusualy still and dark with only a half moon really showing in the sky and as if the whole world was mourning "Very" Special Agent Tony DiNozzo.


	7. Chapter 7

Ducky walked into his living room with a plate of cookies everybody except Jethro and Timothy had come over after leaving the hospital. Jethro had stayed with Tony he had rarely left Tony's side since he had been taken to the hospital and Timothy had dinner plans with Sarah. Palmer was sitting on the floor cleaning his glasses Abby and Ziva were sitting on the couch. Abby was on one end holding her cross in her hands he could tell she was crying. Ziva was balled up on the other end she looked so hurt it was horrible. He set down the tray and sat in his chair. Suddenly his phone rang. He knew without even looking at his caller id what had happened. Still the words stung like daggers. _"Duck Tony died". _He placed his hand over the mouth peice and gave the news "Everybody that was Jethro, I have terrible news Tony died". Abby picked up her cellphone and called McGee. Ducky said goodbye to Jethro and call Vance. Jimmy used his to call Breena. Ziva curled up under Abby's arm and started to cry Abby hung up after giving Timothy the news she pulled Ziva close to her and held her while the both cried. Palmer stood up but immedietly fell back down he was crying too. Ducky sat in his chair silently crying he knew in the morning he'd come to work and Tony's body would be waiting. Being in his mid seventies he was no stranger to death everything from babies who never even took a breath to people well over a hundred. Still losing Anthony was a great loss. Ecspecialy since Jethro was taking the whole ordeal really hard.

Leon Vance was sitting at his dinning table playing a game with his family when his phone rang. He excused himself and went to answer it. "No when" "Is anything planned?" How's Jethro doing?" "Bye". "Leon is everything OK?" Jackie asked. "Tony died" He said sadly "Oh I'm sorry at least he didn't suffer too much" Jackie said. "I'm sorry dad" Jared said trying not to cry he had always liked Tony. "Sorry daddy" Kayla said. Vance sat back down and continued playing with his family.

McGee was in his kitchen having dinner with Sarah. He wished he could have gone to Ducky's but, he had made these plans months ago. Sarah was talking about a story. McGee was only half listening to her his mind was on the hospital he swore if it weren't for the sound of the machines he'd think Tony was dead. He had never seen Tony completely still or silent now he was and his eyes were closed McGee guessed he was in a coma like most cancer paintents were in the end. Suddenly his thoughts were cut off by his phone ringing. It was Abby _"Oh Timmy! Tony died!" "_It's OK Abbs I'll meet you at Ducky's OK?" _"OK"_. "Sarah I'm sorry but I have to go Tony just died." "Oh Tim I'm so sorry" She cried. As McGee drove to Ducky's he thought about how weird life was going to be without Tony no more "Probie", no more McNicknames, no more pranks, no more Tony that's what hurt the most knowing he was gone and never coming back knowing this time it was real. He was working on his latest Thom E. Gencity novel he thought about writting it to where Tonmy beat the odds recovered and went on to torment McGregor and marry Lisa and get head slapped by Tibbs but, that would be like when his parents told him his dog Winnie went to live on a farm. He just drove silently and wished he could change things.

Abby was sitting on Ducky's couch silently praying for Tony to find peace which was a kind way of saying to die. She knew he was too sick to live and if he did he'd have no real quality of life. Still when Ducky's phone rang and he told them Tony was dead she cried. She called McGee then held Ziva in her arms and they cried together.

Ziva was curled up on the couch next to Abby. The last two days had been weird for her. She had lost countless people in her life and had killed many each time she just acted tough and tried to move on with her life. This time was diffrent she loved Tony. He was the only man she loved who didn't betray her yet he hurt her worse. Ducky told them Tony died and she curled up to Abby and vowed never to fall in love again.

Jimmy sat on Ducky's floor he couldn't believe Tony was dying. It had all happened so fast. Tony was fine maybe a little off but, a nasty flu bug had swept through N.C.I.S even Gibbs got sick, then Tony came to him and said he had leukimia, then he was taking Tony to treatments, then Tony collapsed and they said had pnemonia, and now Tony could die any second. Ducky got a call from Gibbs saying Tony was gone and that was it his best friend was gone forever. He tried to stand up but, fell back down he called Breena and quietly cried for his friend. The first best friend he ever had.

**A/N sorry if anyone still believed the farm thing.**


	8. Chapter 8

Gibbs was lying on the floor if his basement. Though his heart was breaking the events of the past few days hadn't quite sunk in yet. He kept hoping it was all a bad dream and he'd wake up and go to work and see Tony teasing McGee and flirting with Ziva. He heard his door open and remembered all the times Tony come in and they'd talk. "Tony?" He asked. "No Jethro it's me" He heard Jackson call.

Jackson Gibbs pulled into his sons driveway around ten. He wished he could have arrived sooner but the drive had taken longer than expected and he had stopped off for food. He walked to the door. He didn't bother knocking since he knew Jethro never locked the door. He walked in and heard the faint voice of his son ask "Tony?". He felt a pain in his heart when heard that. "No Jethro it's me" Jackson replied. Slowly he walked down to the basement. He saw Jethro lying on the floor. "Dad?" Jethro asked. "Yea it's me" Jackson replied. "I just want this to be a bad dream. Ya know." Jethro said "I miss him so much already." "I know you do I miss him too." Jackson said. "Why did he have to die?" Jethro asked. "I don't know." Jackson replied. "He should have gotten old been married had children and grandchildren maybe even great grandchildren. Not dead at forty two!" Jethro said. "I know I wish things could have been difrent at least he doesn't hurt anymore and people can't leave him anymore" Jackson said. "Oh that's what everyone says anytime somebody dies!" Gibbs yelled "It's so pathetic there dead! No matter what happens after you die you aren't gonna feel anything anymore but, the people you love suffer and that's a pretty dumb thing to tell someone who just lost a second child!" "Jethro" Jackson said trying to calm his son. "Don't Jethro me." Gibbs said "Your just selfish enough to die next! Cause dying is the most selfish thing a person can do! Tony could have recovered from pnemonia and beaten leukimia! He was so strong and... and." Gibbs started to cry and Jackson took him into his arms and told him it would be OK. "I can't believe this I am crying like an idiot every two seconds now." Gibbs said. "Jethro you aren't an idiot a man who was practically a son to you died today." Jackson soothed. "Why did it have to be Tony?" Gibbs asked "How many people I love do I have to lose before it's my turn?" "I don't know just do me a favor and let me go before you I can't lose you." Jackson said relizing his son his only living family was feeling the loss of not just Tony but, every person he had lost in his still to short life and that's what hurt him most of all.


	9. Chapter 9

Ducky was looking down at the body of Anthony DiNozzo. He had preformed hundreds of autopsies, this one was going to be a rough one. Slowly he made the first incison just below the neck. Suddenly he heard a combination gasp and scream he turned around to see Jethro standing behind him wide eyed, mouth open, and shaking "Duck I...just Vance gave me...to clean Tony's desk out...I...come back later." Gibbs stamered before runnig off. "Dr. Mallard?" Jimmy asked. "Yes Mr. Palmer?" Ducky questioned. "I'm sorry but I don't think I can help with this one" Palmer said. "Ok but, just this once and only cause this loss is hard for the whole agency." Ducky said. "Thanks" Palmer said before walking away. Ducky was kind of relieved he'd be doing Tony's autopsy alone he had no stories to tell.

Gibbs ran from autopsy to the bullpen he felt sick. "This is crazy I'm a Marine I've seen bodies before and friends on the autopsy table. Why is this one so hard?" He went over to Tony's desk and knelt down still feeling sick he pulled the waste basket close to him and begins dry heaving. "You OK Boss?" McGee asked. "No I'm not McGee Tony is dead!" Gibbs cried "Now get out I need to do this alone." "I was just going down to talk to Abby." McGee said. When he recovered he went to work on Tony's desk. First he cleared the top of the desk into one box. Then Gibbs went through the desk the unlocked drawers had no real surprises just papers, a few DVD's, some office supplies, and some joke toys. The drawer Tony kept locked was the one with the surprises a picture of his mom, what looked like a journal, pictures of the team, a colored pencil that had belonged to Kate, Jenny's ancient NIS coffee cup, and part of Paula Cassidy's hat recoverd from the explosion. The last thing he found a key taped to a note _"Boss if you are reading this I am gone. McGee or Ziva if you are reading this Gibbs better be dead too cause otherwise I will be pissed at you for snooping through my desk. Anyway Boss this key is to a safe you will find it in my aparment under my bed. It contains small gifts for each member of my family you, Abby, McGee, Ziva, Ducky, and Jimmy. I love you. Tony." _Gibbs read the note and held it close to him for a while then he walked over to his desk he placed the items beloning to Cate, Paula, and Jenny in his private drawer along with the note from Tony.

Jimmy Palmer walked into the bullpen he saw Gibbs had cleared out Tony's desk. He noticed Gibbs had several boxes to carry out so he walked over and offered to help. Palmer bent down to pick up a box when stood back up he knocked over a picture frame on Gibbs's desk. "Oh I'm so sorry Gibbs." Palmer said as Gibbs picked it up he saw it was a picture of Kelly. "Was it not enough to kill Tony you had to kill Kelly too?..." The rest was an incoherant ramble. The next thing Palmer knows Gibbs is lunging at him. Palmer looks into his eyes and sees a combination of fear, greif, and confusion. Then Gibbs has shoved himself into him and is crying into his shirt. Then Palmer feels him and Gibbs being pulled in opisite directions Vance is holding Gibbs who is kicking and screaming; while McGee is pulling Palmer away then sits him in a chair. "Are you OK Jimmy?" McGee asked. "Yeah is Gibbs OK?" Palmer asked. "I don't know. I hope so." McGee said. By this time Vance has Gibbs restrained and orders McGee to call 911. Just as McGee hangs up Abby walks in. "Hey everybody what's going on?" she asks. "Gibbs attacked Jimmy and we had to call 911." McGee explained. "Oh Gibbs I'll pray for you!" Abby says. " Oh that won't do anything so just buzz off Abby! Nobody likes your bubbley attitude!" Gibbs yelled as he breaks free from Vance. Abby runs to McGee he takes her into his arms and she starts to cry. Palmer does something extremely surprising he walks up to Gibbs "Hey! What's wrong with you! It's one thing to attack me but, don't EVER! Yell at Abby again! Get a hold of yourself!" Palmer yells before slapping Gibbs on the back of the head. The room was filled with shocked silence as then the ambulance came and took Gibbs away and eveybody hopes they can help him.

Abby was the first to speak "We should pray for Gibbs". "OK" Vance said. They all took eachothers hands even Ziva "Dear God please be with Gibbs in this time we all miss Tony but, he is taking it extra hard he needs you right now please help him through this trial and bring him back to us. Also let Tony's soul find peace he was a great man." "Amen" "That was beutiful Abby" Vance said "You all are off for the next week Ducky, Jimmy you too once you finish the autopsy." Everybody walked out except Ziva "Director I would like to request a team change."


	10. Chapter 10

"Director I would like to request a team change." Ziva's words spun in Vance's head he was still taking in the past seventy two hours. "Director?" Ziva asked. "Are you sure?" Vance asked. "Yes I can't work here anymore too many memories." Ziva said with tears in her eyes. "Well if your sure there is a team leader positon avaliable in France. I offered it to Tony but, he declined for what are now obvious reasons." Vance said. "I'll take it." Ziva said. "OK you'll have to leave the day after Tony's funeral though. I apologize for the short notice." Vance said. "It's OK I need to leave soon." Ziva said as she left the bullpen. Vance walked out too and headed to his office recalling the conversation he had with Tony.

_"Hey Anthony a team leader postion has become avaliable in France I have recomended you for it."_

_"I'm sorry I can't."_

_"Why not?"_

_"For personal reasons." _

_"You have to move on eventually Anthony! You can't stay in the same place forever cause it's framilar! You have to be able to move on! Growup already!"_

_"What if I don't want to to take the job cause there is something really bad wrong with me! What if I was dying Leon!"_

_"Anthony?"_

_"Forget it!" _

He should have seen something was wrong. "I'm sorry Anthony" he thought.

Jackson Gibbs was in the kitchen of his son's house he was cleaning up a bit just trying to make things a little easier on his son. He heard the phone ring he answered it "_Hello Jackson Gibbs? This is Tim McGee." _Jackson's heart skipped a beat he last time he got a call from an agent was when Jethro was shot in a diner the year before. He was OK just sore and Jackson could hear Jethro yelling in the background there was no need to call. _"I'm sorry but, we had to have an ambulance take Jethro to Bethsada he attacked Jimmy in the bullpen and they took him to the psych ward I'm so sorry." _Jackson could tell the young man was crying. "Oh My God let me know if you hear anything bye." _Bye Jackson._ Jackson hung-up the phone fearing he was losing his son.

Palmer was sitting on his couch when Breena walked in. "I heard what happened today" she said "Are you OK?" "I'm fine just really worried about Gibbs I don't think he even knew where he was." Palmer said. "Well he's getting the help he needs." She said. "It's weird when I knocked the picture over he made it sound like he thought I killed Kelly..." Jimmy said "NO!" "Jimmy what's wrong?" She asked. "I...I just remembered why I don't have birthday parties." Jimmy stammered. "Why?" Breena asked. "Kelly Gibbs was killed on her way to my 8th birthday party. She and Maddie Tyler and my were the only ones who ever came to my birthday parties since I was a poor geeky kid who was arllergic to everything and that was the year I found out I was diabetic so the only cake I got was this carrot cake that tasted like cardboard. That's the best they could do back then now Tony brings me er brought me this cake from a special bakery..." "Oh Jimmy I'm sorry." She said.

Abby had been staying at McGee's aparment every night since Tony had been taken to the hospital. "Timmy?" Abby askef "Yes Abby" McGee replied. "Can I sleep with you? I'm scared for Gibbs." Abby asked. "Sure" Tim said. Abby climbed in bed beside McGee he wrapped his arms around her. Trying to hide his fear sometimes he hated having to be the brave one for Abby.


	11. Chapter 11

Tony's funeral was held exactly a week after he was hospitalized. Gibbs was released from Bethsada that morning. Jackson drove him to Tony's aparment to to pick up the safe. It contained a crucifix Tony had been given at his first communion for Abby, a Harry Potter book signed by J.K. Rowling for Jimmy, a Scotish flag pin he had been given by a professor for Ducky, a copy of Oliver Twist from the 1930's a counsoler at summer camp had given him for McGee, a ring from Isreal that had belonged to one of Tony's nanies for Ziva, and for Gibbs a locket that had Kelly's birth stone on it and contained a picture of Shannon and Kelly on one side and one of Tony and Jenny on the other. It's sad how close there stories were both were dying of a terminal illness and both were taken before there was a real chance to say goodbye though Tony had hung on he was only awake for an hour or two durring those two days and he was so out of it when he was awake except for that short period no more then twenty miniutes his first night in Bethsada but, Gibbs was to upset to talk to him much.

Jackson drove Jethro from Tony's apartment to the funeral. He looked over at his son who was sitting holding the safe on his lap staring out the window. "You know you can put that in the back it will be just fine." He said. "No I need to hold it." Jethro said. "Are you feeling any better?" He asked. "I don't think I'm going to jump our assitant ME in the bullpen again but, I still feel I don't know broken, lost, scared, and confussed." Jethro replied. "I wish I could do something to take the pain away Jethro I really do." He replied. "Just don't forget about Tony. OK?" Jethro told him. "Don't worry Jethro Tony is one it is almost impossible to forget." Jackson said.

Tony's funeral was packed the team was there of course. Other guests included Jackson, Rachel Cranston, Sarah and Penelope McGee, Ducky's friend Alex, Breena, Dr. Pitt, Maddie Tyler who was eight months pregnant and her husband Aaron, cops from everywhere Tony worked, football players he knew in school, witnesses and others Tony had saved, and other people Tony knew throughout his short life. There wasn't a dry eye in the place. Since Tony had given everybody on the team gifts they each placed something in his casket. Ducky gave a bowtie his grandfather had given him, Palmer gave a wizard wand Michelle had given him, Abby gave Bert, McGee gave the original manuscript for Deep Six, Gibbs gave a poem Kelly had written for school that he always kept in his back pocket, and Ziva shocked everyone by removing her Star of David necklace and placing it around Tony's neck. Gibbs sat between Ducky and Jackson it looked like he needed both of them just to sit up. When the time Gibbs gave a speech. _"I first met Tony DiNozzo when he was a cocky Baltimore street cop who couldn't stay in one place for more than a few years. He joined NCIS and became like a son to me. He made everybody smile. He kept us laughing with his movie refrences and caddy remarks. He acted like a playboy but, he had such a big heart he cared for everybody on his team we were his family and we will never forget him. Please be sure to carry on the legacy of "Very" Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo. Goodbye Tony I can't wait to see you again I love you. _

At the reception following the funetal Ziva announced she was transfering to France to be a team leader there. Tim was promoted to Senior Field Agent. Gibbs went off to a private room and prayed Maddie Tyler now Maddie Evans walked in "Mind if I join you?" she asked. "It's fine are you OK?" Gibbs asked "Not really Tony saved my life and I don't think I ever thanked him enough." She replied. "Well are you happy with Aaron?" Gibbs asked. "Yes and we can't wait for little Kelly." she told him "We are planning on naming her Kelly "Kelly Antonia Evans" maybe if that's OK with you?" "It would be a honnor" Gibbs replied.

After the funeral and reception Vance told Gibbs he was suspened til he was deemed well by Rachel Cranston. He would go to Stillwater with Jackson who needed to get back to the store and would either be driven back by Jackson or picked up by Vance once a week for his apoinments with her. Tim was made Team leader and had to find two replacements one for Tony and one for Ziva.


	12. Chapter 12

Gibbs was sitting at his desk at NCIS. It was dark everybody else had gone home he had come by to clean out his desk. Since he was planning on returning to NCIS when Rachel said he was "stable" he was only getting things of value and stuff he'd need. He was holding Tony's beloved Mighty Mouse stapler twisting it around in his hands. He had planned on putting it in the casket with Tony but, when the time came couldn't let it go."Gibbs?" Vance asked. "Yes?" Gibbs replied. "Everybody is going out for drinks to say goodbye to Ziva" Vance told him. "Jethro were you sniffing Tony's stapler?" Vance asked. "Yeah it smells like him." Gibbs said. "It smells like hand sweat." Vance replied. "You can't hold on to everything that reminds you of him like a lifeline." Vance said. "What if it was Jared?" "Hell what if Jackie and Kayla died then Jared got sick and before you even knew anything was wrong he just collapsed and was to weak to even know where he was!" Gibbs asked "then you get suspened from the one normal in your life?" "No I can't and I shouldn't have told you you can't hold on to Tony you can but you can't go around smelling staplers and you can't be emotionaly unstable and put your life and everyone around you lives in danger." Vance told him "I know we have our diffrences but, this isn't spite. If I lost you or anyone on the team cause I ignored your emotional crisis I'd never forgive myself." "OK Leon" Gibbs said before bending down to collect his bag and box he walked out of the bullpen.

Tim and Abby went to Gibbs's house to clean out his fridge. "This is so sad!" Abby cried "I mean if it's this hard just to clean Gibbs's fridge knowing he'll be back soon imagine how hard it will be to clean out Tony's whole apartment knowing he won't ever come back. Why did he have to die Timmy?" "I don't know Abbs. Hey we have to meet Ziva at the bar for drinks. I hear Gibbs may come" McGee said. "OK" Abby replied.

Ziva sat alone in her apartment the only good part about her aparment being blown up a few years before was now she only had to pack four years of her life into two bags instead of seven. It was a furnished apartment so that made it easier, and anything she could replace she'd just throw out or take to the thriftshop. In her bags she had her uniform, a dress, and a few outfits she liked in one. In the other she had pictures of the team and her family, her teddy bear the one Tony gave her, and a few keepsakes. She packed her car, dropped stuff off at the thriftstore, and headed to the bar to say goodbye to her friends.

The team walked silently into the bar. "Hey guys!" The bartender called. "Hey where's Tony?" He asked. Gibbs opened his mouth but, nothing came out except a choked sob. Finally Ducky spoke "I'm afraid Anthony died four days ago he had leukimia and developed pnemoina there was nothing do be done really." "I'm so sorry" he said. The bar was silent for a moment the bar tender took out a bottle poured shots and passed them out to everybody in the bar. They drank a toast to Tony then Ziva announced she was moving to France the team drank a toast to her. They drank and reminised than Ziva announced she was leaving for the airport everybody gave her one last hug and watched as she walked away from their lives.

Gibbs sat in the front seat of Jackson's car heading for Stillwater. "I don't see why I have to go back to Stillwater can't somebody else run the store?" Gibbs asked. "I could but, I think a change of scenery will do you good." Jackson explained "Now I have to reopen the store tomorrow so you can either come with me or I can get somebody to come stay with you." "Why do I need a baby sitter like a child or nutcase?" Gibbs asked. "Because you are severly depressed. I can't risk leaving you alone." They drove the rest of the trip in silence except for the ocasional sob from Gibbs.

"Oh shut up Toby!" "Oh you know it's true Lina!" Ziva heard the young couple behind her arguing. "MM" Ziva moaned before curlinng into her seat. "Excuse me miss?" "Are you OK?" A tall brown haired blue eyed man who she assumed had the seat next to her asked. "No" Ziva said. "What happened to your back?" He asked. "A few years ago I was kidknapped by Somolian pirates and torchered." Ziva explained. "WOW that must have been terrifying" he said can you tell me more about yourself. "Well I was a Moosad than I transfered to NCIS a few years ago now I am traveling to France to be a team leader there." Ziva explained. "You sound amazing I hope life gets easier. Now why are you not OK?" He asked. "My friend well he was more then a friend kind of my boyfriend just died of cancer." Ziva said. "I'm sorry he said my wife died in a house fire a couple years ago" he said "I'm going to France to run an orphanage that my uncle owned he died last month. I was a school teacher. The names Colin by the way Colin Jenkins." Colin told her. "Ziva David" Ziva told him. They talked the rest of the flight.

Gibbs was having a nightmare. He was in a solid white space heard Tony yelling his name and he was frantically searching for him but, anytime Gibbs found him he'd fade away a little more. Gibbs was screaming his name "Tony! Tony! Tony! Please Tony! Tony! Toooonnnnnyyyy!" sudenly he felt a hand shaking him calling him softly "Jethro Jethro" he woke up to see Jackson standing over him. "It was horrible dad Tony was calling for me but anythime I found him he faded away more and more" Gibbs said crying. "Come here it will be OK" Jackson said. Gibbs and Jackson sat together. "This is pathetic! Having nightmares like a little kid!" Gibbs yelled. "Everybody has nightmares Jethro" Jackson reassured. Jackson held Jethro in his arms and reassured him til Jethro fell asleep.

Abby and McGee began their relationship that night. "I'm doing away with rule 12 while I'm in charge and it will be an established relationship when Gibbs returns so we should be OK. If not I could transfer." McGee said. "OK Timmy" Abby said. They were intimate and after Abby fell asleep McGee completed his latest L.J. Tibbs novel Life Tore Us Apart Memories Kept Us Together. In Loving Memory of Tony, friend, co-worker, son, brother, and the real life Tommy. The final line was _"Though Lisa had left for France, Tibbs had returned home to heal, McGregor and Amy began their relationship, and Tommy had died the team would never truly be apart and Tommy would never be gone he will live on in their hearts and is the force binding them together for enternity no matter how many miles between."_

**Fin**

**A/N Well that's it. I will write sequals from each of the teams POV's over the next few weeks. I hope you enjoyed it. Also episode 200 was amazing and I hope that Tony doesn't wind up with Wendy I don't trust her. Thanks for reading. Peace. :-) **


	13. Chapter 13

**A\N: OK I am writting a series of shorter stories as sequals to this I have two ideas for Gibbs one happy and one that's really sad which should I do? Happy? Sad? Both? Thanks.**


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